ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
