I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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