I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Randomize
