Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
don't judge my taste in strippers
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
