Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My ass is underappreciated
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
