What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
