She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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