I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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