soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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