stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
