imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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