I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
