The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
