You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize