You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
