Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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