Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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