my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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