yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
