I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize