I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
