I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
