At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
