I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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