have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize