Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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