Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
