So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
