I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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