y did u give ur computer a hand job?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
