Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I puked a lego.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
