summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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