She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
