She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
