lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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