i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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