I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
