After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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