I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
