found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
