I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
