Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
