And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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