we have officially lost it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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