oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
