he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
