it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
