So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
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got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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