you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
