idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
