I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
