Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize