just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think people are normalizing furries
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
