Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My penis needs a shock collar
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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