Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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