Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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