I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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