Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
