If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
