It's like God shit irony all over that family
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
