I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
