he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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